The Mystery of Inner Emptiness
By Oleg Moskvine
Who are you inside? What is your name inside? How old are you inside? Are you male or female inside? When you start deeply looking inside, is anybody there that can be defined and identified? Do you think you are going to meet yourself as somebody you used to be in the outer world? In going inwards will you find someone there waiting for you?
Realize in deep witnessing that the feeling of “I am somebody in the outer world” starts disappearing on its own. “I am somebody” or ego can exist only in reference to “You are somebody else”. Outside, in the worldly dimension, “I am somebody” is confronted with many “You are somebody else”. Outside you need your name, your identifications, your achievements, your attachments and your power. But it is used only on the outside…
All your worldly identifications melt in the journey inside. Inside you are nameless. Inside you are egoless. By falling into the inside endless emptiness, is there any ground to land on? Are there any objects to cling to? “You are somebody else” is not present
inside, that is why “I am somebody” starts melting.
Then the fear of losing something you have always been accustomed to lean on arises. This fear arises because your personality imposed by society starts disappearing in this inward odyssey. If you have always been running from yourself, but not towards yourself, how will you know the amazing feeling of being individual? If you identify yourself only with personality, then at the moment of deepening awareness, when ego disappears, you start feeling this fear. If for your whole life you have been associating yourself only with your ego, then the disappearance of it creates great tension.
Who is the real you? Who are you if the usual associations with something and somebody in the outer world disappear during witnessing? There is certainly no “I am somebody” inside. Watch: what remains and what disappears on its own. The moment the false disappears, the real appears. The real cannot disappear! It has always been alive. It has always been eternal.
Let me say to you: don’t worry. The feeling that there is nobody inside is absolutely authentic for the nature of things. Just continue watching that you are still there, but not your ego, not your personality. Realize that in deepening awareness you simply are… In deep witnessing you simply are…
Watch all these arisen things: fear, tension, questions, doubts… Realize a simple fact: who is watching this arisen fear? Who is watching the disappearance of ego? Who is watching this tension? Who is this watcher? Who finds this blissful emptiness inside? Who finds this mysterious nothingness inside?
That’s you! You are this watcher. You are this authentic witness. For the first time, you have encountered yourself. Just change your focusing from the outer objects to pure subjectivity. And this jump brings this transformation of fear into the blissfulness of finding yourself.
And in this journey you may find something greater than your ego, than your personality, than your worldly identifications and attachments. It is your true aliveness, your authentic being. Inside you are in the purity of the dancing existence. Inside you are in total silence and relaxation. Inside you are just pure existence. Inside you are pure consciousness. And out of that pure existence arises all the aroma of aliveness. And out of this silence arises the beautiful melody of life. Meditate over this…